Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sorry about my life...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize