I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
