I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
