girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize