yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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