i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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