guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize