You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize