no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
