I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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