Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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