We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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