I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
