feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
