Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
