You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
3 2 1 whiskey
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
