Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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