so that wasnt chicken after all
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i think im in europe. pls send help
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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