If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
