with your own penis?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
