Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
