Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
