atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
