fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
