is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
