I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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