Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
