I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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