He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
