I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
