She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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