Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
