the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
