Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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