i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
