Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
