erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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