that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
