she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
