That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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