i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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