One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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