Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
