is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
