No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
