did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
