and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think a kid would responsible me up
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
