is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
