I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
