I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
