Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
zippers are such a cool invention
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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