I puked a lego.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you had me at cake vodka
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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