If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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