I want to stick my p in your. b.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
