Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am one with the molecules
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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