It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My feet surprised me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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