Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
