so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
