Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
