Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
