Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
