Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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