Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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